Project 366 / 274 - Opinions, judging and trolls

Whilst it's important to care, it's also important to not care. It's ok not to care about peoples perceptions or opinions of you. Hell we all like feedback, it's just none of us like criticism.

Yesterday I wrote about the pale blue dot. It makes you realise our place in the universe - we're everything and nothing. We're nothing to many, something to some and everything to others. The sooner we drop the pretence, the charade and facade that we project to the world and begin just being ourselves and accepting others for who they really are then the happier we will all be.

The problem is that we're judged more now than at any other time in human evolution. The reason? Well you're looking at it - the internet.

The current state of the internet is what's become known over the last decade or so as social media. It's the number one platform for social interaction and as a race we're now heavily scrutinised under the social media microscope.

It's a tough crowd.

Too fat, too thin, too happy, too sad, too pretty, too ugly, too this too that. The list goes on and on. Yes you can't please everyone all the time but at times the negativity and hate that saturates the internet is overwhelming.

Just recently I've watched a few rants by some famous people who quote rightly say "look, if you don't like me, if you don't like what I say or post then just unfollow me. It's my profile, it's my life, I can post what I want. You've followed me, not the other way round so if you don't like it then leave." Or words to that effect.

I guess I just don't understand some people. I also guess that they're too simple to understand how this whole thing works too.

Project 366 / 273 - Bubbles, tragedy and the pale blue dot

We all travel through life at a million miles per hour, hopefully fitting in as much as we can, making our time count, constantly learning and, if we're doing it right, relentlessly trying to be the best version of ourselves that we possibly can.

In addition to this we're all living in our own bubble, our own world, our own universe, almost immune and cut off to most others. But I believe that you can only live your own life - yes you can impact others but you can only really live your own. And despite the appearances of some we all have our own struggles.

But every now and again something happens in your life that stops you in your track, that brings you back down to earth; death, illness, tragedy. It could be a global news event or simply someone close. But when it happens it has a tendency to stop you in your tracks and bring everything into perspective.

Those moans, those petty issues, those minor irritations - at the end of the day they mean nothing. They're forgotten in a heartbeat.

For some reason I'm constantly reminded of the pale blue dot. That photograph of the Earth taken by the Voyager 1 space probe back in 1990 from a distance of about 3.7 billion miles away. American cosmologist Carl Sagan once wrote of the photograph;

"Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being that ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilisation, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, every corrupt politician, every "superstar", every "supreme leader", every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."

If you're looking for inspiration it's right there in that photograph. We are a miracle. You are a miracle. I am a miracle. You only get one life - value it and make the most of it.

Project 366 / 272 - Life, death and a theory

I've held a theory in my head for a long time about life and death.

During your life you learn. You take in information, you study, you meet people, you interact, you learn new skills, new jobs, new tasks and new technology. You adapt, you evolve and by the end of your life you're a wealth of information.

They say that you can learn at least something from everyone you meet, that's one of the reasons why it is so important to give everyone a chance to be heard, no matter what you think of them.

It therefore seems a tragic loss that if when you die that everything dies with you.

But what if it doesn't? What if the tunnel of light that people who have had deathly experiences report to see is actually you being born again?

• What if babies cry because they remember everything but can't communicate it?
• What if as a toddler learns to talk so their memory fades?
• What if the geniuses of this world are the ones who unbeknown to them retain some of the knowledge from their previous life?
• Maybe the body cannot cope with the retention of so much information and that is why many geniuses are physically disabled.

Project 366 / 271 - Seth, yes and no

I came across a short blog post from Seth Godin the other day based around saying "no" - you can read it here if you like. Now this flies in the face of the likes of the 2005 Danny Wallace book entitled Yes Man (subsequently made into a Jim Carrey film of the same name) which explores the theory of saying yes to everything.

Now like many other people I've been guilty of saying no to a lot of personal engagements but saying yes to most business requests and this is something that I'm working on trying to correct, or at least rebalance.

Just like every other business owner I get a ton of unsolicited marketing calls. 99.9% of the time I successfully palm them away. And I do it with grace and sincerity, saying "I'm sorry but that's not for me, but thank you for thinking of me anyway". This approach seems to leave the caller slightly baffled as I'm actually thanking them for calling and they end up just saying "uh? oh, ok goodbye". My staff aren't so successful, hesitantly saying "he's not available at the moment" or "he's on the phone at the moment" or some other open ended offer to call back later.

But I find that I always regret the 0.01% that do catch me on a weak day. Sadly I can't think of one example of an unsolicited marketing call which has ended up being a success.

Aside from the marketing calls I get a lot of demand for my time which I tend to always say yes to which can then leave me stretched and working extra hours complete my existing projects. This is my weakness, my tendency to try and please everyone all the time and to also be involved in everything, both old and new.

I love new ventures, the buzz of starting something from scratch, of brainstorming and creating. In my ideal world scenario I'd get something up and running, employ a crew to run it and then move on to the next thing. My problem with this is that I like being in control and I don't trust anyone, so letting it go for someone else to butcher would cause me more sleepless nights than the extra hours needed to do it myself.

But I accept that I can't do everything myself.

I employed someone a couple of years ago with the view of him running my business, of actually doing my job. I was that determined to begin to make this ideal world scenario happen. But I sacked the guy within 3 months and when I did he wasn't surprised.

"You're not ready to let it go" was his retort.

"Yes I bloody am, just not to you" I replied.

"You need to let it go and let us make mistakes, that's how we'll learn"

What a load of rubbish. What and let my business suffer and dwindle whilst you learn?

I've just been offered another venture and it's tempting. I haven't said no and I haven't said yes but I have already told myself, and others, that I haven't got the time for it. So maybe I'm learning.

Seth once wrote "No is the foundation that we can build our yes on" and I'm beginning to think he might be right.

Project 366 / 270 - Age, ageing and youthification

Do you remember when we were kids and we'd think of the year 2000 with awe and wonder. You'd work out how old you'd be and giggle about just how old that was. I was 29 at the millennium but of course that seemed ancient when I was only 9.

I worked at a freight forwarding company in my 20's and towards the end of that time we employed a spotty little cocky shit called Anthony from some remote northern town. He thought he was the bollocks, we thought he was an arsehole - it was all nether region stuff.

Anyway he must have been only about 18 and used to laugh at us older folk. I was about 27, Steve was about 28, Ian was early 30's and Tony was 40. Anthony used to say that Tony should "just kill himself - when you hit 40 your life is pretty much over". And he meant it. Life to him was partying, clubbing and trying to pull the girls. Yet with his complexion, mixed with a greasy pudding haircut and a voice that made children cry he couldn't even pull the curtains.

Anthony must be approaching 40 (and the end of his life) soon.

But there is no denying that we're going through a major youthification right now. In just a few generations we've gone from retiring to die to retiring to live. Men and women in their 40's, 50's and 60's are living, acting and dressing 10-15 years younger. Middle age is no longer 40 but 50 as life expectancy has increased and we're having the time of our lives.

My mum hit 75 yesterday and I wonder how she feels. I wonder how all people in that age bracket feel. It's referred to as the twilight years - are they scared? Do they have regrets? Do they begin to wonder how many Christmases do I have left?

My wife and I have been together since 2001 and throughout that time her Nan, her Dad's mum, would pipe up at Christmas saying "this'll be my last one" (just as her Dad, Peter would say "this is probably my last football season"). Her Nan was wrong another 14 times before she'd finally be proven right.

Peter is still playing football.

Project 366 / 269 - Staying alive, getting older and weight training

I was talking to our window cleaner yesterday - now here's a man who likes to complain. The double whammy being that he must suffer from short-term memory loss or something because he tells me the same story literally every single time I see him.

The man's as pale as a sheet and always has been, he literally has the complexion of a corpse. A couple of years ago he went to the doctors to talk about his dropping energy levels and, to cut an extremely long story short, it turned out that he's got some rare blood disorder which the professionals have only ever seen in people who have been exposed to radiation.

Because it is almost impossible for him to have been exposed to radiation the doctors said that he must have been exposed to something else, but that something else is a complete unknown. The doctor gave him "about 6 months to live".

He had blood transfusions which didn't help, injections which did nothing and lots of other treatment which barely scratched the surface. In the end the only treatment which made any impact was some kind of bone marrow transplant. That "6 months" was a couple of years ago now and whilst I can't say that he's a picture of health, he's alive and feeling a bit better.

His frustration yesterday revolved around weight training. He says that he used to be a bodybuilder - well that must have been more than 20 years ago because that's how long he's been cleaning my windows and he's never looked like he's ever even picked up a weight. He was complaining yesterday that he simply can't pack on the muscle like he used to.

Well wake up sunshine, nor can any of us of that age. Things change, our bodies change, our chemical make-up changes, our metabolism changes, the way our bodies synthesise amino acids changes, growth hormone production reduces - everything changes. And that's just our bodies. Our mental attitude changes too as different priorities come into play.

You have a golden era in your life to do certain things. Why do you think a lot of top athletes and sports people retire in their 30's? Bodybuilding is no different really. For a man you're probably at your peak in your mid 30's. That's when your metabolism is still running high, your body's chemicals are the most balanced and at least a decade of solid training has built a strong foundation of dense muscle fibre.

Complaining when you're 50 that you can't build muscle like you used to just screams of ignorance. He then complained about the treatment that has kept him alive, saying "God knows what the long term effects are", as if living past the 6 months has been such a drag. I pointed this out but he ignored it, quickly moving on to more pressing issues regarding his thermos flask.

The moral? First be grateful that you are alive and then secondly understand your stage in life. Push the boundaries by all means but don't be surprised if they push back from time to time.

Project 366 / 268 - Consequences, actions and butterflies

Do you ever think about the consequences of your actions? No I mean really think? Call it the butterfly effect or the ripple effect but when you begin to delve deeper into the repercussions of your actions life begins to take a very un-kismet turn.

We all merrily go on our way in life unaware that every decision, every action and every event is directly impacting literally everyone around us. You stop to talk, you give way in the car, you run late - all these things have a knock on effect to everyone else. In the car, that person you let out is now where you would have been had you not let them out. If that happens 2,3,4,5 times then you may have been in that accident. As it was you weren't, so you'll never know.

No wonder Hollywood has tried many a time to commit this to celluloid, it has the makings of the best story in the world.

I love the theory of alternate universes, where every option of every decision is explored in a sliding doors style reel. What if you hadn't taken that job? That holiday? That journey?

For example it was just a twist of fate that led my wife to me. She could have quite easily have not returned to her employer which led her on a journey to my heart. What then? Had she decided differently then her decision would have changed the trajectory of not only her life but mine. Our subsequent kids wouldn't have existed and everyone's lives that we have touched along the way would have been different too.

The deeper you delve the more you begin to realise that your life, what happened and what happens is purely chance. My wife would say fate but I don't like thinking that I'm not in control of my own destiny. If fate is real then no matter what I do it's preordained and hey, that's no fun.

Project 366 / 267 - Writing, video and public speaking

When you have a voice, when you have a message, when you have something to say then you want to be heard. It's taken 40+ years but finally I feel mature enough to want to be heard. But how can you get your message across?

Well doing what I'm doing right now - writing - is one approach. Blogging is actually very therapeutic. Words begin to flow if you just let them and a simple message, when conveyed eloquently, can be quite inspiring. When I get the chance I've taken to reading Seth Godin's blog which is a clever mix of short and medium blog formats, all of which work. But the problem with writing is that you feel that you should be writing at least a certain amount of words, when sometimes less is more.

And then there is video format, which quite certainly is the current way-to-go. My quest for 2016 was to begin to produce video content for my business and we've had a roaring time doing it. We've cleverly mixed humorous parody videos with more corporate videos and artsy time-lapse clips all of which have gained a fair amount of traction. My plan for 2017 is to up my personal video content so am toying with the idea of a weekly vlog of some description.

And then there is public speaking. Now this really is out-of-comfort-zone stuff. I've given speeches a handful of times and dreaded every single one. Yet afterwards have enjoyed the rush of endorphins and sense of achievement. Yet I, like many others, shy away every single time. The problem - I've begun to get asked to do more.

Yes they are all networking events but I have an opportunity to get myself known, if only to a handful of people each time. But how do I get over myself? How do I conquer my fears?

Well in the past I have faced them head on but this feels different. On this occasion (and probably to my detriment) I've read that you should play to your strengths - if you don't feel comfortable doing something then perhaps you shouldn't do it. But in my heart I know that the upside to all this will far outweigh the fear. Maybe it's time to buckle up, work out an approach and a style and journey into the abyss.

Project 366 / 266 - Routine, escaping and memories

There are some people that I know that live... no correct that, can only exist in a strict routine. They time their day down to the minute, allocating a certain amount of time for this and a certain amount of time for that. Whilst it most certainly works for them I cannot work like that.

Yes having a routine is good and understanding how to manage your time is incredibly productive. Without time management a lot of your day will be wasted, instead spent drifting from one thing to another.

But you have to be flexible. You have to be able to adapt to react to the curve balls that get thrown your way. That's why I prefer a looser routine, one that allows me to change my game at the drop of a hat.

But just as every now and again it's good to be strict, it's also good to run free.

Some 14 years ago I disappeared off to Australia for a couple of months on my own. I'd been going through some personal problems and after watching Brad Pitt just up and take off in the epic film Legends of the Fall I decided that's exactly what I should do. So within a couple of weeks of watching the film I was on a plane to Sydney.

I'd loosely planned my trip - a few weeks in Sydney, an unscheduled drive to Brisbane, a couple of weeks in Port Douglas north of Cairns diving on the Great Barrier Reef, a flying visit to Ayres Rock before finishing in Perth. After 2 months of wandering without much of a plan I found myself on the aeroplane on the way home, almost yearning for a routine.

Ironically I'd missed the rut that had dictated my life and on the first few walks around the park with the dog felt happy once again. Of course it wouldn't be long until I was cursing my routine again but for a few happy weeks I was pleased to be back in some kind of routine.

We all resent our routine sometimes. The monotony of daily responsibility can be wearing, especially if you can't see a break from it. So we work hard nowadays to schedule regular breaks from our routine or to mix things up just to keep things interesting. I never used to do this, instead citing lack of money as my excuse. But a good friend of mine once told me "Take the wife away for the weekend, check into a hotel, have some fun, treat yourselves. If you haven't got the money then stick it on the credit card. Some things are more important than money".

These words ring in my head. I'm quite cautious with money but I've taught myself to realise that memories are far more valuable than money.

Project 366 / 265 - Impressions, perceptions and a white shirt

When you look at someone what do you see? What do you look at or notice first? They say that you make your mind up very quickly about someone, usually within just a few minutes of meeting them so those first impressions are of vital importance.

And you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Our uniform at work is black - black steel capped boots, black cargo trousers and either a black shirt, polo shirt or t-shirt, obviously all emblazoned with our corporate logo. For a company that moves freight black is an obvious choice - most things are dusty at best and greasy or muddy at worst so smart, light colours are out of the question.

Over the last 12 months I've increased our staffing levels and the need for me to be in the trenches, loading and unloading lorries, packing, stacking and wrapping has been removed. Yes I'm in the warehouse a lot of the time but that's just seeing how the troops are getting on and offering either guidance, direction or bits of advice.

This morning I turned up in smart trousers and a white shirt. The reaction was one of astonishment. The boss, looking sharp? Who would have thought this was possible? It got me thinking about perception.

When I first started my business I worked from home. I managed freight - meaning that I co-ordinated the movement of freight via service partners. Where I sat, how I looked and what I wore bore no bearing on my ability to complete the task, yet time after time I had clients turn me down for work because I worked from home.

After the business grew enough for me to afford a small warehouse some of those same clients who had turned me down before began coming to me, as if the building that I was in now residing in gave me more gravitas, more experience or more skill. Yet I still found that during my sales calls other people were reluctant to give me work because I was still a micro business.

A few years later and I bought a large warehouse and again, those who had been reluctant before became less so. And so the cycle continued and still continues to this day, albeit less so now as we're a medium sized business with substantial warehouses.

So life and success, especially in the short term, can come down to peoples perception of you. Get past the first impression and you're half way to succeeding. Break down that first prejudicial barrier and everyone is in with a shot.

After that, you're on your own.

Project 366 / 264 - People, conflict and war

So it's official - people just don't like people. Well that's my take on it anyway.

Why people can't just get on with each other is beyond me. Everyone seems to have a chip on their shoulder, like the world and everything in it owes them something and that everyone is out to either sabotage them or just get them. It's quite ridiculous.

Reece, 9, was asking me the other day why there are wars and if there will be a world war 3. To be honest half the time it feels like the world is at war with each other already. Conflict is everywhere, power struggles are rife and people are imposing their beliefs and opinions on each other everywhere you look.

Reece asked how wars start. I explained that they start with a disagreement between 2 people which escalates to an argument. These build into squabble which turns into a fight. Sides are taken and riots between sides begin. Groups of sides turn into an army and before you know it a war has begun. The crazy part is that the majority of people who fight in the army don't even know what the original argument was or what they are fighting for, they're simply following orders.

Life is short, life is precious and life is beautiful. Why we can't just accept other peoples opinions as their own and just get along just seems crazy. Instead we enforce our beliefs on others causing conflict.

Closer to home I have conflict at work. We're only a small team yet peace doesn't last for long. There is always some issue with someone, some frustration with another or some misunderstanding all of which causes tempers to flare and volcanoes to erupt.

The last time I got to this number of staff I downsized promising myself that I'd never do it again, yet here I am, desperately hoping that this time it'll be different. However I'm beginning to think that we, as a human race, are flawed, forever eluding peace and destined to destroy ourselves and each other.

Project 366 / 263 - Mentors, my way and maybes

If you could choose any mentor then who would you choose? A business leader, someone famous, someone rich, someone influential, a leading person from within your industry or just someone who has been successful?

There was a recent article asking "Which would you choose - $1m or 1 year with Bill Gates?". It's an interesting question to pose. Answers on the blog I was reading ranged from "take the money, it gives you more scope than experience", others cleverly pointed "a year with Bill Gates and at the end write a book entitled 'My year with Bill Gates'", whilst others would take the experience all day long.

I was approached by a mentor a year or so ago. The chap was just a retiree who from my perspective was trying to earn a retainer. I questioned why I'd need a mentor - I've had meetings with business advisers in the past who had nothing new to add to my master plan so what could a mentor tell or advise me that I didn't know already? I'm not claiming to be the best business person there is but I like to think that I know what I'm doing.

But maybe that's the point, maybe the experience a mentor brings is the understanding how to execute. After all so many plans fall by the wayside, knocked off course by the sheer volume of day to day responsibility. Time flies and without a long term plan broken down into small steps you're likely to veer off course.

Maybe my plan is a solid one but I'm only clumsily making my way. Maybe I need someone to feel responsible to for direction and focus. Maybe a goal without a mentor would take 5 years but with one take only 2.

My problem is that I don't like being told what to do, in fact I despise it. I like to do it myself, I like to learn my craft in my way and I like to look at my achievements and know that it was all down to me, that I did that, all by myself. But maybe I don't understand mentorship.

That's a lot of maybes...

Project 366 / 262 - Friends, drifting and assigning time

Friendships are a fickle thing. It's amazing how strangers can become best friends just as quickly as best friends can be come strangers. But why does this happen?

Without a falling out or a disagreement it's just down to change. People change, perspectives change and needs change. And none of that is a bad thing, maybe your paths have changed and you simply don't connect in the same way any more. Many people play a role in a persons life for so long before carrying on with their journey. Spouses come and go, influencers come and go and to be honest not much remains constant.

My wife classed one of her friends to be one of her closest, they were literally like sisters. Gem would do anything for her; she worked for her, comforted her when her marriage was breaking down, supported her, loved her, rescued her in times of peril and was there for her 24/7/365. As an added bonus her son was best friends with our eldest son and they only lived 200 meters away.

You could ask — what could go wrong? Well nothing really but still, over a 6 month period this year they’ve drifted apart. Gem’s friend just started excluding her and our son and refusing all invitations to get together. I could see that Gem was both physically and emotionally upset but there was literally nothing that she could do. There had been no falling out, no disagreement to try and reconcile so in the end she’s had to just walk away.

I think that sometimes people use friends but not purposely or maliciously but more sub-consciously. But their use is disguised as friendship. Once they've mentally got to where they need to be then that relationship becomes less important. How often have you been best friends with someone when they've been single, only for you to be dumped as soon as they find a boyfriend/girlfriend? How often have you been best fiends with someone when they've been down, or going through a bad time only to be abandoned when their fortunes or luck changes?

We all have lots of different circles of friends. Some new, some old, some close, some just acquaintances, some you tell everything to whilst others it's just surface stuff. Trying to cling on to how a friendship used to be rather than just accepting how it has become can leave you feeling resentful, frustrated, angry and upset. As hard as it can be to accept, you just have to let people go.

Life is too short to dwell on toxic environments. Friendships should be balanced, so channel your heart and reward those who listen and take a sincere interest with your time.

Project 366 / 261 - Hustle, massage and wasting time

I left work at 7.30pm last night after a 10.5 hour shift without a break. That in itself is nothing unusual, I'm used to working long hours without stopping and to be honest if I don't then I feel like I'm somehow cheating. I'm working hard but at the same time I believe that I'm working smarter than ever.

But as I left work I noticed something that usually passes me by - that I was the last one to leave our business park.

Now thinking about it I'm just about always the last one to leave but last night it struck a chord. Isn't every business owner working as hard as me? I mean they all say they are but are they really? Here I am, 15 years into running my own business and I'm still putting in the same, if not more hours than I did when I first started.

This morning I went for a sports massage. I'm trying a new masseur - he's actually my wife's personal trainer who has realised that sports massage is the perfect sideline to his PT sessions, almost like "You're going to pay me to break you and then you're going to pay me to fix you".

In between knots he was telling me about how his business was taking off and how he's now having to put in 50, 60, 70 hour weeks just to keep up. He's only young (something like 21/22) but is very mature for his age and is looking like he's doing everything right. He's prioritising his life, his relationship, his work/life balance, his allegiances and his own training to engineer himself into a position to succeed. And succeed he will.

Your life presents countless opportunities, paths and chances to greatness. None of them are easy and all of them will result in sacrifice. When you are young and have very few responsibilities you can dedicate all your time to these opportunities. If you can do this and sacrifice those parties, those all-night drinking sessions, those mindless days spent watching box sets or soap operas then you have the chance to succeed.

Because one day you will have a spouse, one day you will have a mortgage, a dog, cats, kids and 101 other things all demanding your time and your income. At that stage it becomes very hard to dedicate the time that some of these projects and opportunities demand.

My only regret in life (apart from ever ever smoking) was wasting time. And believe me I was all-in head down and learning my business at 20. But I still feel, no I know that I wasted time and money in my early 30's when I could have been building a better business.

My advice? When you're young and you can you should "do". There's plenty of time for everything else later on.

Project 366 / 260 - Yin, Yang and perseverance

My Dad once told me that one bad day doesn't make a bad week, one bad week doesn't make a bad month and one bad month doesn't make a bad year. There's not much he taught me during my life but this seems to be the one of the things that has stuck.

The problem with life is that everyone else is trying to fool you into thinking that theirs is perfect. But the truth is that everyone is fighting their own battles. It could be insecurity, depression, stress, a fear of rejection, failure or loss, it could be any number of things and they could be minor or major.

But just as we all have great days; days when we're feeling on top of the world, when you have the midas touch and you can't help but win all day long - you're also going to have days when everything you touch turns to shit, where everything goes wrong and you question literally everything you're doing, have done and are planning to do.

To every yin, there's a yang.

But that's life. The best solution is to work through it and live to fight another day. Don't quit just because the going got tough and because it didn't go your own way. If it was all easy for you then the rewards wouldn't taste so great. Get back up, dust yourself down and get back on that horse.

As Rocky Balboa once said "It's not about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward".

No matter how bad things have gotten and no matter how hard things are you can take refuge in one thing - you've always survived. Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Project 366 / 259 - Genius, ideas and dry spells

Genius is a phrase that is often used but rarely warranted. But what is genius?

There are times in your life when all the stars align. A period of immense creativity, where ideas flow like a river torrent. You can't force this, it just happens. The best solution is to try and put aside the time to capitalise on it as before long something will interrupt this flow and what you thought would be able to re-start becomes nigh on impossible.

A genius idea is more often than not just a fluke flash of inspiration. How else can you explain why most artists struggle to either maintain or repeat such groundbreaking originality? Is the reality that nothing is ever original any more, or that they just so happened to be in the right place at the right time for their works to be exposed to the masses?

That amazing first album can be so hard to recreate.

Maybe genius just visits us. Maybe it's not something that we possess, that it's not something that we can hold on to. Yes many people are supremely talented yet are rarely able recreate those lofty moments of pure genius.

I always find it strange when musicians, whilst on the top of their game, decide to take a year out. They stop writing, thinking that a break will re-invigorate their creativity only to find that it stifles them. Why work so hard to get to a point only to stop?

The best way to encourage genius to visit you is to practice your art. Write music every day; take photos every day; write blogs every day; draw, paint, sketch every day. Only by doing this will you open the possibility of genius. Don't stop, keep going and your moments will come.

A few years ago I wrote music and at one point I was writing most days. Not all of it was good but every now and again I'd write something very good. After starting a family I didn't have the time and so stopped. By not practicing my art I've removed the possibility of writing something good. I've also removed the possibility of writing something bad. But worst of all I've definitely removed the possibility of writing something genius.

Project 366 / 258 - Animals, destruction and merry hell

When you think of a pet what do you imagine? Leisurely dog walking on a Autumnal Sunday afternoon? Perhaps a solitary cat gently purring whilst basking in the sunlight from a lounge window?

Yes we did too...

The reality is oh so much different. Cats (Dottie & Mo) ripping holes in brand new carpets, a dog (Ziggy) that is not only capable of destroying indestructible toys, but relishes in the challenge that is presented by laminate, wooden shelving, bookshelves, walls, doors, radiator pipes and pretty much anything that he can get his teeth in to.

And that's just now. When I ran my business from home we had a indoor rabbit (Blue) that chewed through my computer cables and a dog (Murfey) who would only drop his guts during the most important of business meetings. Our cat at that time (Issey) destroyed literally every carpet in every room of the house.

We've tried 2 guinea pigs (Bob & Tony) who, pound for pound created the most havoc and mess that I've ever seen. They didn't last that long. My wife has had fish who didn't get on. That resulted in us having to buy individual tanks for each fish. Yes you read that right - one fish per tank.

After Murfey and Issey passed last year we went through a long period without any pets at all. I can't say it was nice as I missed Murfey so much but I certainly enjoyed the reduced responsibility and my wife enjoyed not having to vacuum the pet hair up 25 times a day.

When we'd become completely complacent we rescued 2 cats (Dottie & Mo). I'm not the greatest cat person in the world. To me cats serve only one purpose and that's themselves. I thought that by rescuing cats they might show a bit of gratitude but again, I was wrong there.

In a weak moment I then agreed to get a dog and so again we rescued one, this time from Spain at great expense and again my expectations of gratitude were dashed almost instantaneously. We're now saddled with 2 cats and a dog that struggle to get on and, for all intents and purposes, appear to be on a mission to drain my bank account whilst destroying my home.

And since when are dogs fussy eaters? I mean I half expected the cats to be as that tends to go with the territory. But Ziggy must be picking up hints and tricks from the cats as he regularly turns his nose up at his food. So now not only are the cats on a gourmet food rotation but now the dog is too.

So anyway, if you know anyone who would like 2 loving cats and 1 well travelled family dog then drop me a line.

Project 366 / 257 - Apple, phones and sheep

I didn't want to jump on the Apple bandwagon but considering the sheer volume of press, blogs and social media engagement over the iPhone 7 release I felt almost compelled.

Apple have done a very clever thing over the years by not just inventing the wheel a handful of times but by tying its users into their products. I'm an avid Apple fan, I love their products and have an iMac, a Macbook air, an iPad, an iPhone, an iWatch, a shuffle and a few old and redundant iPods. Although I was the first amongst everyone I know to buy an iPod when they came out (and was soooo cutting edge) admittedly I don't rush out to buy their very latest releases.

My phone business contract renews annually but tends to be a few months before they release the latest version so I have to wait 9 or so months, but I'm not that bothered as the current iPhone is more than adequate. I do quite a bit of photography and the iPhone has amazing capabilities.

To be honest a good photographer can take an amazing photo with almost any camera - it's not necessarily the camera, rather the skill of the person holding it.

But the big buzz around the iPhone 7 is the removal of the headphone jack. People are criticising the move, saying that they'll lose the supplied EarPods and that they can't charge the phone whilst charging the phone if you're using the Lightning adaptor to listen to music on your old 3.5mm headphones.

Feels like a storm in a teacup to me. Steve Jobs once said "People don't know what they want until we show them" and that is all that Apple is doing now. They are paving the way, they are forcing the hand, they are pushing the envelope and they are doing things that other companies haven't got the balls to do.

Yes they are going to alienate people but these are people who don't like change. Once the future arrives people will realise, they will adopt and they will change. But pioneers are always mocked, it comes with the territory.

It just comes down to one thing; some lead and others follow.

Project 366 / 256 - Evolution, flying and running

Human evolution is a fascinating subject. The way we, as homo sapiens have evolved to be the most complex forms of life on earth is quite remarkable really, especially the recent sheer acceleration - not much for 200,000 years and then boom, an explosion of evolution over the last 120 years or so.

The human brain is like a sponge; it's desperate to learn, to be stretched and challenged and the last century or so has been a fine example. The first humble flights of the Wright brothers back in 1903 showed the world that flight was possible and then only 66 years later man stepped foot on the moon. This in itself, is an incredible feat of mankind, to go from nothing to the moon.

People always think things can't be done until someone does them.

It's like the mens 100m sprint, only 50 years ago man couldn't break the 10 second barrier, now it stands at 9.572 thanks to Mr Usain Bolt. Can we break the 9 second barrier? I wouldn't bet against it.

From the industrial revolution to the current digital revolution, if you think how far man has come in such a short period of time it is quite outstanding. The world is literally changing before our eyes as we are beginning to understand who we are and what we are capable of.

The word "impossible" literally says I'm possible, almost teasing and taunting you into pushing achievement. Each generation is faster, stronger and smarter than it's predecessor. We're capable of processing more information, retaining more data and executing more complex multi-tasks than ever and that's because we're evolving faster than ever.

As Napoleon Hill said back in the 1930's "Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve". This has never been so true as it is today.

Project 366 / 255 - You, yourself and everyone else

We're all different, that's for sure. Our unique qualities act like a beacon transmitting our existence to the rest of humanity. So if this is the case why are we clumped together in groups; dissected, analysed and categorised so people can understand how to act and react.

How would you categorise yourself? Normal? What is normal? Normal is average. Average is a poor relation to your better self. Why wouldn't you want to better yourself? Why not continually strive to be the very possible version of yourself?

It's not reality that shapes us but the lens in which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. Surely then if you can change the lens then you can change your happiness. Instead of assuming the worst start expecting the best. Rather than hoping begin believing.

Challenge yourself, push yourself and take a step outside your comfort zone. I'm not saying you should do something that scares you every day but perhaps start challenging your preconceptions.

The truth about failure is that we are more afraid of what other people may think of us failing rather than how it makes us feel. Once you confront this fear and can look past other people's opinions, which I must add is rarely as negative as you may think, then you can begin to push towards your ultimate goals.

Seek out rejection to get desensitised to the fear of it. After all once we lose the fear of rejection then we more easily go after what we want and thus get more of it.

Project 366 / 254 - In time, out of time and a waste of time

Back in 2011 my good friend Justin Timberlake starred in a film called In Time. The film is classed as an American dystopian science fiction action thriller. Set in the year 2169 (where do they get these dates from?), people are genetically engineered with perfect health and appearance. Each is born with a digital clock in their arm; when they turn 25 they stop ageing and their clock begins counting down from 1 year. When the clock reaches zero, that person "times out" and dies. Time has become the universal currency - the only way to live longer is to earn it.

Personally I loved the film. The concept of time being the universal currency is more apt now than ever. Take a step back from what you're doing right now and think - why do you work?

You work to earn money. You earn money to buy things to enjoy your leisure time. But we don't have much leisure time. Most of us are working a minimum of 5 days per week, a minimum of 9-5.30, plus commuting. How much leisure time do you get?

So if you won the lottery what would it mean? It'd mean that you've just bought time. So time is already a universal currency.

No matter where you sit in society we've all got the same amount of time. And I'm not talking about health, I'm talking about seconds, minutes and hours in the day. When you give someone your time it's a valuable commodity. It's the only thing that you can never get back. And we all have a limited amount of it.

So the next time you find yourself spending time with someone you don't want to, in a situation you dislike, or on a customer who doesn't deserve it, just stop and think: you're wasting time. You're wasting your very own unique currency.

Project 366 / 253 - Patience, perception and pursuit

There's a lot of talk about being patient. The perception of most people is that if you're an entrepreneur or if you own your own business, if you're an actor, if you're a footballer or if you're in any potentially high paying job that it means that you're already successful, that you're living the high life and you're loaded.

The truth can be far different. Like with any job or any role there are the elite and then there is everyone else. In football, if you're not in the premiership or top divisions then you're probably only earning the national average wage. If you're an actor then unless you make it in some TV hit or blockbuster franchise then you're more likely to be out of work than in work. And if you run your own business you're more likely to be just making ends meet rather than cruising around the world in your own yacht.

Success isn't easy and patience is hard.

Think of this: if you got told that the project or venture that you're about to embark on would have some reasonable highs but some scary lows, that you'd need to dig deeper than you ever knew possible, that you'd face losing everything before slowly turning things around, but after 20 years you'd be a millionaire, would you have the patience to pursue it?

The perception is that you have an idea, you make it work and 5 years later you sell out for a gazillion. Does this happen? Yes. Does this happen a lot? No. Maybe one idea per decade may have this success. And the rest of us? Well after 10-20 years...

Many will go bust.

Most break even but could maintain a reasonable standard of living.

And the minority might make a million.

Could you be that patient?

Project 366 / 252 - Sleeping, children and balance

I don't remember what kind of sleeper I was when I was young. My parents would tell you that I was a terrible screamer and non-sleeper as a baby. They'd get so frustrated that my Mum would wheel me down the garden and lock me in the greenhouse. My Dad would tell you that they sound-proofed my room, they were that fed up of being disturbed.

As a young boy all I remember was listening to the various pipes which ran across my bedroom knock as they expanded or contracted against the wooden joists, depending on whether the heating was coming on or going off. It had a kind of soothing effect which was part of my very own bedtime routine after my parents had long gone downstairs.

Like other teenagers, when I got older sleep became overwhelming. I hadn't lived at home since something like 7 years old so at had no official bed time when I was home. So I'd stay up until the early hours, as if something magical was going to happen or that I'd miss out. Mornings weren't my friend and working was a massive inconvenience.

And then I hit my 20's. Sleep became optional rather than compulsory and I could easily function at a higher level than most on 4-5 hours sleep per night. I'd get up at 4.45am, drive an hour to the gym near my work to train for 6.30am, get into work for 8.00am, work through without a break until gone 8pm, get home for something like 9pm, have dinner and got to bed around midnight. And I did that 5 days a week.

At 29 I started my own business and in my 30's enjoyed somewhat of a lie-in as I didn't have to commute any more. I still trained at 6.30am but didn't have to get up until 5.30am. It wasn't until I was 36 when Reece was born that everything changed.

Reece wasn't a great eater and, probably subsequently, was a terrible sleeper. We tried everything; rocking, holding, ssshhh-patting, toys, leaving him to cry, pacing, sleeping with him, him sleeping with us, driving him in the car, dummies, comforters... you name it we tried it. We stubbornly refused to use any self help books, instead using our non-existent parenting skills and natural instinct. It was a nightmare.

As I was working my poor wife would be on night duty from Sunday to Thursday and then, in an effort to try and give her a break I'd take the Friday and Saturday nights.

On my first Friday night shift Gem shuffled off to "beeeeedddddd" leaving me with a wide-eyed baby in the spare room. Looking down at this little baby boy you'd wonder how something so small could reek so much havoc. I was desperate for Gem to get some sleep so tried everything and at one point thought I'd won, but it only turned out to be wind and the racket continued.

It must have been 1.30am when a bleary-eyed Gem wandered in through the door asking "what time did he wake up?" to which I cried a somewhat broken reply of "he hasn't been to sleep yet".

Of course one cuddle from his miracle Mummy and within seconds he was fast asleep.

It wasn't until he was 3 that he finally slept through and hasn't looked back since. Strangely now nothing wakes him in the night, nothing at all. You can have a party in his room, use a pneumatic drill if you like and he wouldn't even stir. Within a few months of him sleeping through we'd forgotten the 3 years of no sleep so decided to have another.

Needless to say that Lincoln followed exactly the same 3 year pattern - I swear he'd wake at a pin drop that one. Some nights he'd finally seem to fall asleep in my arms only to wake the split second I'd move. It turned out to be a nightly challenge of standing up from the rocking chair, walking across the room, putting him down and getting out without him waking up. That whole process could take an hour. But then hit one wrong floorboard and you're back to square one.

I recently watched an interview with Arianna Huffington where she was advocating the need for regular and sustained good quality sleep. If only I thought - I've a young family and a busy business, all of which quite rightly demand every waking second of my day.

There has to be a balance and I'm still struggling to find it.

Project 366 / 251 - Lists, cash and being hungry

There's just a couple of things that are irritating me at the moment.

1. The relentless stream of top lists within my Medium stream.

Do you have these 14 traits...
5 Ways to do this...
6 Ways to do that...
10 Insanely good reasons for something else...

I haven't read the articles and they may be good but because they are so prolific it's putting me off. I used to read them but I just can't face it any more. The problem is that's it's a hack - it looks like a hack, it reads like a hack and it smells like a hack.

2. The dismissal of wealth by the successful.

Yeah I mean money is nice and all that but it's not that important...
There's so much more to life than money...
My ambition was to make £1m but as soon as I did I wanted to start again
The fun is the climb

Really? Have you ever been in a cash strapped company, fending off abusive phone calls from angry suppliers and literally putting your neck on the line? Have you lost it all, felt humiliated, embarrassed and found yourself sitting in a legal office whilst a stranger dissolves everything you've worked for? From the beginning you are taught that cash is king so why dismiss it when you've made it?

I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination but at the same time I've made enough to let me sleep at night. And believe me there was a time when I didn't. Since building up a financial safety net my life has become so much better; I'm more confident, I'm happier and I'm more generous. On top of all that I now have the opportunity to spend time doing what I want to be doing. I never had time for that before.

Don't get me wrong, it's certainly worth earning your stripes, being in the trenches and digging deep but what is the point of doing all that, getting your result and then dismissing the reward?

Trust me, if those rich entrepreneurs lost everything they'd soon change their tune and be scrabbling to get back up the mountain. For me there is always hunger, I'm always climbing but I can certainly perform better without the desperation that I once had.

Turnover is vanity.
Margin is sanity.
Cash is king.

Project 366 / 250 - Weather, heating and cooling

I joined myspace just as everyone was leaving and when I joined Facebook one of my friends said "at last, switch off the lights when you leave". Now I'm not saying I'm always late to the party but...

It's been a strange weather year here in the UK and true to form us Brits love nothing else but to talk about the weather. I'm not sure why, maybe the nation aren't good conversationalists or we really are fascinated by meteorological events but whatever we are, it drives me nuts as whoever I talk to wants some mindless conversation about how windy it was last night.

Anyway we wait all year for some sun only for it to appear and be too hot. Then the temperature drops and it's too cold. Then too wet, too windy, too dark, too humid, too dank, too this too that. Just recently we've had a bit of a warmer spell, an Indian summer if you like, so it's prompted me, just like many others, to look into air conditioning.

Now our office is west facing and in the ceiling of a warehouse. The warehouse acts as a tin, absorbing all the heat from the day and effectively funnelling it into our office, or at least that's how it feels. And as the day progresses and the sun crosses the sky to face us it gets hotter and hotter. If you're looking for the hottest place on earth Death Valley has literally nothing on us. We'd wipe the floor with that fridge of a place.

So as we approach the tail end of the English summer I'm now enquiring into air conditioning. Needless to say it's expensive but my staff are all promising that their work output would "increase by at least 15% if we had air conditioning". It's the same promise they made when I gave them the daily choice of radio station earlier this year.

So maybe, after 15 years of the office being too cold during the winter and way too hot during the summer we're finally going to get some control. Maybe, just maybe.

Project 366 / 249 - Getting fit, physically and mentally

It's the beginning of September, the nights are beginning to draw in, X-bloody-Factor is already on the TV, the kids are back at school and for some the countdown to Christmas has begun.

But not for us. Ah no, we've far more important things to concentrate on: Las Vegas for one.

Yes our planned trip to Las Vegas at the end of November is beginning to show up on my Outlook calendar scroll. I always find it amazing how those dates you put in your diary, which seem (and are) in the far distance, quietly creep up on you. There's lots happening in between now and then but because we're renewing our wedding vows in Vegas it's a big date in the diary. So we've decided to get back into (the best possible) physical shape.

Now for my wife this shouldn't be too much of an issue. After all she competed in a Miss Figure body building competition back on 17th July. Admittedly we've had 8 weeks of kids school holidays, lots of good food and wine and not a lot of training, but still, she should be fine.

I, on the other hand, haven't been in good condition for a fair few years. I'd like to think I have... but I haven't. So on the one hand I'm relishing the challenge, the strict diet, the no booze, the early nights and the progress, and on the other hand I'm already missing the nice food, the booze, the late nights...

We've given ourselves 12 weeks. Hell the time will pass anyway so what is there to lose? We're following a clean diet with HIIT training and weight training and lots and lots of water. This morning I had a kale and mushroom omelette with water, mid morning was chicken with cashews and then for lunch it was a chicken salad. God knows what delights will greet me tonight.

But getting fit, just like any other choice you make is more mental than physical. Your body is capable of so much more than you put it through, in fact that's one of the reasons that it either doesn't improve or gets steadily worse. The body needs to be challenged to survive and grow. It's your mind that can make the difference between success and failure. Mental strength brings you physical results.

Day 1 done, some stupid amount left to go...

Project 366 / 248 - Stuff, buying and selling

We all work damn hard for our money. Many working long hours, sacrificing family time, leisure time, exercise and rest in a quest to earn money.

So it begs the question: Why do we waste so much money?

Do we really need all the things that we spend our money on? Is the accumulation of all these things really so necessary?

The kids go back to school tomorrow so we've spent the majority of the day getting them physically ready. My wife has sorted their clothes; new football boots, new school shoes, new vests, t-shirts, shorts, PE kit, pens, rubbers, new this and new that whilst washing and cleaning everything so they look shiny and new. And I've spent the day having a bit of a clear out.

For anyone who has had a family you'll understand the nature of accumulation. Baby toys turn to toddler toys, toddler toys turn to action figures and action toys and as they grow up so do the toys and books that they play with. The result is a mass collection of kids stuff which the kids are reluctant to part with and we, as parents, are desperate to pass on.

But the second hand market for general kids stuff is zero as crazily nearly all parents want new. You can barely give baby clothes, prams and toys away. The only market is the car boot market, and that's demoralising.

"How much for that?
"It was £10,000 new but you can have it for £2.00"
"I'll give you 10p"

or...

"How much is that?"
"I dunno, 20p?"
"I'll give you 5p"

At which point I smash the item into as many pieces as humanely possible out of pure anger and frustration that someone is trying to haggle 20p. If they're not willing to pay the asking price then they can't ever have it.

But removing toys from the home for sale or disposal comes at another risk - the kids finding out. Those never-ever played with toys suddenly become their favourite ever.

"You're not throwing that out are you?"
"Yes, it's an egg box"
"But...."

or

"That's my light-sabre"
"Lincoln, it's a cardboard tube that's broken in the middle"
"No it's not... look (straightening it)... there"
"Honestly darling, it's broken, it's going in the bin"
"Nooooo it's fine (hitting me with it)"
"What are you going to use it for?"
"Hitting you"

It's in the bin. That's how I roll.

Ok, I waited until he went out to the park and then put it in the bin, and yes I'll deal with the fall out later.

But I digress. The pure fact of the matter is that we buy far too much disposable stuff to feed a temporary craving only to have to work twice as hard to replace the money we've unnecessarily spent. At birthdays and Christmas I beg people not to buy me anything in fear of the crap they may buy. I'd prefer a £5 voucher rather than a £50 product that I don't want.

My advice: don’t waste your money, don’t buy so much stuff and be choosy.

Now... can someone please tell my wife?

Project 366 / 247 - Common people, negativity and dawn

We all like to think that we're somehow different, that we stand out from the crowd and that our story is more interesting than the next person. But the more you delve in to other people, the more you talk to them and get them to open up the more you realise how much we've all got in common.

How many conversations have you had with people where you've either thought or said "yeah that happened to me"? These connections are powerful coincidences which can reassure us that we're not that odd, or perhaps what happened to us wasn't that unusual.

We all come from dysfunctional families; we all had a misunderstood youth and we all are trying to make sure that history does not, under any circumstances, repeat itself.

Both my wife and I are quite open and honest in our stories. We don't hide behind them or blame them for anything. If anything what has happened to us, which I have to say is literally nothing in comparison to so many that suffer, is what has forged our own path. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That smooth seas do not make skilful sailors. So our hardships are what have trained us and made us grateful for the life we have now.

And that is what can be the problem with people. They take a negative situation and fail to learn from it, they dissect and find the worst of it and then they dwell on it. We have to learn to learn. We have to understand that in every problem there's an opportunity and we have to pick ourselves up every time we fall.

It's always the darkest before dawn.

Project 366 / 246 - Success, our world and being famous

Success - pah! It's so easy!! Yeah well that's what they'd like you to believe. People living the dream with multiple passive income streams, travelling the world whilst not giving a care about it, earning whilst burning the candle and seemingly living a much better life than you.

Where are we all going so wrong?

The modern social media world that we and our children are growing up into shows you one thing: our very best version of ourselves. In the sunshine, #nofilter (whatever) and eu-natural (made up). And then there's those fitness bods - you know the ones... "oooh I'm so fat" (when they're not), making real "gainz" (whilst on a cycle) and drinking (water) till dawn (actually I just got up).

If you only knew the truth.

The truth is there's no substitute for hard work. Even The Rock advocates being the hardest worker in the room. Anything else is either an inheritance, a lottery win or a lie. Passive income is a ruse: "Buy my £50 white paper to find out how" IS their passive income stream.

But garner success and what happens? They say that money doesn't change you but simply exaggerates the person you already are. So if you're brash and flash then you'll be even more pretentious, if you're generous and kind then these qualities will be even more so.

Who are you?

I could be rich but I couldn't be famous, I like my privacy too much. Yes I like the limelight but I also like the darkness. I guess I'm like anyone else; I'd like to be able to switch it on and off as it suits me. Having the spotlight on me 24/7 would do my head in. I'm on call enough as it is during the day, constantly talking, discussing and meeting and greeting. After work I like to be left alone, even when walking the dog I'll avoid other dog walkers to escape unnecessary conversation. Being famous would just be an exaggerated version of that.

So the simple path to success is remembering;

• But nothing good is ever easy to get
• The harder you work the luckier you'll be

See, simple!

Project 366 / 245 - Compliments, acceptance and denial

We work hard, we train hard and hopefully if we put all the ingredients together properly we gather some results. None of it is easy but then again if it was then everyone would be doing it.

So when your results are noticed and you receive a compliment how do you take it? Do you say "thank you" with a big smile? Do you begin to explain how you've done what you've done to try and bask in the glory a few moments longer? Or do you do what I do and either ignore it or dismiss it?

I don't get that many compliments - sure I do from my wife but I'm referring to other people. But when I do I tend to push them away, like I feel that I'm not worthy of them or don't deserve them. Why is this? Why do I not like receiving public confirmation of my results? Sure I love getting compliments but I find them extremely difficult to take.

In fact I normally go one further and if I'm not careful I will poo-poo the whole notion of the compliment, like the person giving it doesn't really know what they are taking about. Man I really need to work on it.

My grandfather was extremely critical of my Mum. So much so that it used to drive her to tears. Of course he was nothing but complimentary to everyone else about his siblings, but to their face he was an overly critical, unloving man. His children hated him for it.

As I've said before, my parents had a chosen path for me, almost like a pre-arranged marriage, and when I stepped off their path it was curtains. For years I tried to make my parents happy and proud especially my Dad, but failed year after year. Ironically it was only when I stopped trying that I began to succeed. But even then there were still times when their doubting tendencies reared their ugly head. I guess leopards really can't change their spots.

We all like to think that we don't give a shit what anyone thinks, but the truth is that we do. We're all pretending to be tough and strong but the truth is we need people. We're all continually searching for acceptance, for affirmation, for confirmation that we're doing the right thing and a place to belong.

All the independence, success and results are great but they are like memories; they're best shared with someone.